If programming languages were human languages which one would be which?

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If programming languages were human languages which one would be which?

Most developers know (or get to know quickly once they join a team) that programming languages are as much about communicating with other developers as they are about instructing the computer. Which raises the interesting question: If programming languages were human languages which one would be which? Here is a (tonque-in-cheek mind you!) compilation of a mapping between programming languages and human languages. Suggestions / corrections are welcome via the feedback button

  • python -> English. Simple and easy. Spoken everywhere (but not everybody speaks it to native speaker standard!) From lowly scripts, to web servers to #datascience, you’re never stranded if you know it.
  • rlang -> German. Capable. Focused. Sometimes a bit convoluted. Not spoken much outside the Germanic world though.
  • julia -> Dutch, a quirky small language the claims to combine the best of various worlds
  • java -> Latin. Was lingua franca for a long time but recently the empire is losing some lustre. Well structured. Solid but awkwardly verbose.
  • kotlin -> Italian Modern reincarnation of Latin. Claims to be all the good pieces of Java with none of the verbiage.
  • C/C++ -> French. Elaborate. Fully fledged. Generally underestimated despite its major contributions. Many words of English are actually French, just like many python libraries are actually C/C++. Now tries to reinvent itself once again to remain relevant
  • rust -> Finnish Wants to come out of nowhere and conquer the world by sheer coolness (like the frozen North).
  • javascript -> Chinese. Spoken by very large numbers but until recently confined to the geography of the browser. Increasingly seen outside it’s former borders though, through server side node.js
  • golang -> Spanish. The preferred language of a rapidly growing empire. Challenges old world boundaries
  • php -> Indian. Completely dominating the web sub-continent but some argue it is a collage of very popular frameworks rather than a single language
  • haskell -> Japanese. Pure Zen
  • fortran -> Greek. Ancient roots. Provided the words to many newer languages. Today rather niche but still an excellent way to express mathematical tasks
  • lisp -> Russian. Besides profound and mysterious, unlike most other languages lisp makes no distinction between expressions and statements. Reminds of the conflation between a/the articles in Russian